Parenting Toddlers and Preschoolers

Most children will be ready to start toilet learning between 2 and 4 years of age. Here are some tips to help you with this stage:

• Follow your child’s cues and wait for your child to be ready. Your child will show you signs when they are ready for toilet learning. To learn about signs of readiness, visit Toilet learning | Caring for kids.
• Using a potty or a toilet for your child is a personal choice. The important thing is your child is seated on a secure and stable surface. If you choose to use the toilet, use a seat your child fits on comfortably and a stool for their feet.
• Be ready to practice toilet learning with your child daily. This is a new skill your child is learning that takes time -- it is important to have realistic expectations. How long it takes to learn is different for every child. Be available and let your child know it is okay to call you for help.
• Praise your child and focus on the positive behaviour. Expect accidents, and do not punish your child when they happen. Make your praise enthusiastic and praise them for each attempt. When they have used the potty successfully, celebrate this and make it a special moment.
• Manage your expectations. It is common for children to have accidents or need to take a 1 to 3 month break from learning. 

Commons challenges parents and caregivers face:

• Some children have a hard time passing stool in the potty or toilet at first. It is okay to let them have wear a diaper to prevent constipation, as this can be very painful and take longer for your child to learn to use the potty or toilet. 
• It could take a long time for children to stay dry during naps or through the night. Encourage your child to use the potty or toilet before naps and bedtime. Your child may also wear a diaper when asleep. Learn more about Bedwetting | Caring for kids.
• Periods of stress or change in life may cause your child to start to have accidents. If this happens, support your child by addressing the reason for their stress and using diapers again if needed until they are ready to try using the toilet again. 

Sign up for free ‘Toilet Readiness’ courses found in the Growing Together Guide | Family Resources - Hamilton Health Sciences.

Healthy eating is more than the foods you eat. Parents and caregivers play a valuable role in developing your family’s food skills, creating a healthy food environment, supporting your child’s interest in food, and shaping your child’s eating habits and behaviours. 

Learning to enjoy a variety of food takes time and children begin to learn these skills early. 

Feeding is Parenting

• Parents and caregivers are responsible for what food is offered, when, and where. Your child is responsible for how much and whether to eat from the foods that are offered. Learn more about the division of responsibility in feeding | Ellyn Satter Institute.
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  • When parents and caregivers do their jobs with feeding, children do their jobs with eating. This allows for a relaxed and enjoyable mealtime environment where a child feels good about coming to the table. 
  • Avoid using pressure to help lower stress during mealtimes. Pressuring your child in any way to eat certain amounts or types of food can create stressful mealtimes. Pressure undermines children’s natural ability to respond to hunger and fullness cues and delays their progress to learn to enjoy foods. 

Learn more about Feeding Your Baby & Children. If you would like support, speak to a Registered Dietitian for free in multiple languages by calling Health811. Dial 811 or 1-866-797-0000. 

Sleep is essential for a child’s brain development, physical growth, and mental well-being. Toddler’s and preschooler’s need 10 to 14 hours of sleep – including daytime naps and nighttime sleep. Find more information about the recommended amount of sleep for your child at Healthy sleep for your baby and child | Caring for kids.

Sleep Routine

A regular sleep routine helps children prepare for bed and get ready to go to sleep. A successful bedtime routine helps your child transition to bed calmly and comfortable. Some common steps for bedtime routines are:

• Having a bath, changing into pajamas, brushing teeth, and using the toilet
  • Reading a book or talking about your child’s day
  • Playing soft music or white noise if it is comforting
  • Offering a security blanket or stuffed animal

Delayed Bedtime

It is common for toddlers and preschoolers to try to delay bedtime. Often, your child is delaying bedtime because they are seeking closeness to you. Some ways to promote better sleep are: 

• Provide opportunities for your child to have at least 2.5 hours a day. Find engaging activities based on their age at Play & Learn - Games and Activities-Early Child Development | Health HQ.
• Eating healthy meals and limit caffeine and sugar. 
• Monitor length and time of your child’s naps. Children may not feel tired enough for bedtime if their nap is too long or late in the day. 
• Limit screen use before bedtime. The light from the screen can affect sleep patterns.
• Recognize your child’s cues when they are tired. If they are showing signs they are tired, even if earlier than usual, respond by starting the bedtime routine if possible. Children who are overtired often have a hard time falling asleep.
• Set clear limits, be consistent, and respond with reassurance. Let your child know how you expect them to behave. For example, “We stay in our own bed during bedtime. You can call me if you need me. Please wait in your bed and I will come to help you.” If you child gets out of bed to delay bedtime, calmy return them to their bed each time. Reassure them by saying, “I am always with you, even when I am not beside you.”

Bedtime Fears

It is common for children to have bedtime fears during their toddler and preschool years. Reassure and comfort your child by talking about their fears and finding what helps them to feel safe. Some common ways parents and caregivers can respond are:

• Acknowledge their fear and validate how your child is feeling. Encourage your child to tell you what they are scared of, gently comfort your child, and remind them they are safe. For example, if your child tells you they are scared of sleeping in the dark, say “You’re feeling scared because your room is dark, and you can’t see. It can feel scary when we can’t see.”
• Set a plan to help address your child’s fear. If you child fears the dark, you can use night lights or place a flashlight beside your child’s bed. If your child is afraid of ‘monsters’, you can reassure them ‘monsters’ are not real and let them know it is their imagination.

Safe Sleep

If your child outgrows a crib, but they are not yet big enough for a regular bed, consider a toddler bed or a bed low to the ground. Always read and follow the manufacturers height and weight recommendations for beds and mattresses. Learn more about safe sleep at Is Your Child Safe? Sleep Time - Canada.ca.